I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
