Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
COCAINE IS GR8
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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