Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
