Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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