Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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