Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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