that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
