i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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