You can't special order awesome
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
