I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
