I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
