I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
