I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
