Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
