This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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