even my farts smell like vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
