I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
