walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i drank out of a bidet.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
