you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
