one two three fourrrrnication!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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