is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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