The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
