she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
