Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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