Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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