What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
