dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
