she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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