Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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