He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
