Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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