we're blogging at a bar
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
