1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
