I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
