Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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