Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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