i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize