why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
