well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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