Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We are two peas in an std pod
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
