I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We got so high we made milksteak
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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