what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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