I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
