No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
