Is it normal to miss your booty call?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize