Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
