i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
