So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I look better un-naked...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
