Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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