i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
