So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
