How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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